The answer

I know.
I know.
I know.
but.......
I don't.
This is torture.
My stomach is twisting, my fingers tremor.
The pumping of my heart pounds.
Shrinking back into my head, I scream.
I yell, I cry out in agony and frustration.
In the last hour I have gone from high to low.
Now, as I lay in bed, I ache.
I ache for honesty.
I ache for transparency.
I ache for time to fast forward.
I ache for the answers.